Fan's Nest - Frame of mind

估摸着应该改变了。

宅男也做了一段时间了，

什么样的生活都应该体验下嘛，

初中，高中，大学，工作，进修。。。

每个阶段都不同的生活形态，

也该是时间换个心态，

换个态度了！

刚看了20080823的我猜，唐佳迎的确是钢琴美少女，演奏的肖邦第一诙谐曲非常动人，精湛的技巧和丰富的情感，很美。

 

记得小时候学完1年电子琴后，老师对我说，我算是刚刚入门了。但是直到今天，我仍然感觉我距离入门还有很长的一段距离，甚至这一辈子都无法真正入门了。似乎有点沮丧，但是这种感觉却是很强烈的。演奏水平没有到，但欣赏水平还是有进步的，能分辨出一点来了。

 

学到我这份上，应该算是业余的勉强入门了；弹到业余10级的份上，应该算是看到专业的门槛在哪里了，努力点应该能够入门了；练到职业的水平，应该算是真正登入音乐殿堂的大门了，努力下去就有可能成为演奏家，再有天分点就有点希望成为一代大师。

 

三个入门，天差地差。三个大门徘徊的人，我都见过。有的已经进去了，有的，可能和我一样永远都只能徘徊在大门之外了。

 

入门，不容易啊。。。哈，这还仅仅是演奏而已，如果是搞创作历史留名的那种，我连门在哪都没有看见呢。。。

我是谁？

我在干什么？

我应该干什么？

Life's greatest adventure is finding our place in the Circle of Life...

也许是在英国呆了有一段时间了，经历的事情多了，人也慢慢的低调了起来。
或许有人很讨厌这样说话的口吻，那种倚老卖老谈论经验的感觉。
但是有时候这的确是不自觉地从内心发出的感触，希望周围的朋友能够避免一些可能发生的麻烦。
这样的麻烦，当它发生的时候，事态可大可小。
它可以升级成矛盾，进而升级成冲突或者是更恐怖的事情。
纽卡斯尔最近不太平，那里就发生了某种麻烦极端升级的产物，死亡。

 

人在异乡，无论是求学还是求职，家人最关心的，无外乎是一个安全。
出门很多事情需要靠朋友，但最重要的还是应该靠自己，毕竟出来也是想真正锻炼下自己。
在大的国际政治环境下，英国一直扮演比较特殊的角色，因此恐怖袭击并不少见，这些情况并不是我们能够

控制减少的，所以不想谈论。
我想说的是，在英国的生活，特别是留学生活，需要保持警惕心和平常心。

一个初到英国的朋友最近讲了一个事情，怀疑她同学的东西在商场被偷了。重点在于，她惊讶在英国竟然还有小偷。这让我想起了刚来英国的第一个月，和我同住学校宿舍的朋友的笔记本电脑被偷的那个晚上。

那时候我们住底楼，打开窗户就是草坪。我的朋友打开了窗户通空气，然后自己去了旁边的厨房和大家一起做饭。大概过了10分钟不到，当他回到房间的时候，发现电脑不见了，甚至电脑锁绳也被弄断了，窗户的窗帘被拉到了一边。很明显的盗窃行为，我们马上叫了校园保安人员并报案了，但是没有任何办法了。小偷戴了手套，无法收集指纹，而且最无奈的是，草坪附近并没有监视器。最终结局还不算太坏，因为他有买一些保险，最后还是得到了一小笔补偿金。

 

这是第一个发生在身边的让人不顺心的事情，影响虽然不是很大，但是足够让那些以为英国是天堂的朋友产生警惕心，尤其是那时候新来乍到的我。

第二件事情是英国的开车青年一族，我碰到过2次，都是我刚从超市买了食物，在车站等公交车。结果一辆小车开着大喇叭音响从我身边经过，几个年轻男女嘴里大叫着我听不懂的英语，顺带还有玩具水枪射出来的水沾到了我的衣服上。我想他们嘴巴里肯定没说什么好听的，而且行为非常无礼。那时还想着冲上去教训他们一顿呢，可惜他们开车跑的太快了。

 

我朋友也碰到过，这里我只说一个典型。我朋友的同学，是一男一女，也碰到了这样的开车一族英国小青年。英国小青年对他们做了同样的事情，不同的是，这个男同学做了我YY想做的事情，他回骂了一句，或者两句。结果那些小青年停车下来把他打了一顿，最后男同学住进了医院。也报警了，最后的结果是，这一对同学对英国的印象非常的差了，导致论文一写完后马上回家了。当初他们的打算也许还是想留在英国找找工作之类的。当然，依旧是警察找不到那些小青年，不了了之。双拳难敌四手啊，冲动的结果还是会给自己带来更大的伤害，唯一值得庆幸的是，女同学并没有被波及到。

第三件事情是酗酒青年在公车上粗鲁的行为。英国中学生好像很喜欢喝酒，特别是那些参加球队的男生和喜欢社交活动的女生。周末的时候去同学那玩，晚上7点左右回去的的时候，在公交车上碰到了这伙人。他们坐在车子的最后几排，然后开始大声说笑着，并随时调笑着上来的乘客。我看见一个英国老头坐在他们的前排，就被他们调戏了，他们拉扯老头的衣领之类的。我也被他们丢的纸杯子给砸了下，我那时候有点怒，回头说了句，结果他们就乐了，还专程来了个小青年坐我身后想和我交流感情，汗。那时候在公车上，他们也没做出什么太过份的事情，我身边的朋友叫我不要理他们。最后我们还提前了一站下车，免得最后到终点站大家一起下车会产生什么火花之类的。四拳难敌十二手啊，避免事态升级恶化吃大亏。

第四件事情是在外租房的居民小区，这里的小孩可不能乱惹。但问题是，你不惹他们，他们喜欢惹你。我同学就走着走着被小屁孩丢鸡蛋给砸；或者走着走着就有小孩用着听不懂的英语对你叫，看那神情估计是骂人之类的；再或者就是晚上回家的时候，会有几个中学生拦路找你要钱，这些都还蛮常见的。遇到这事情怎么办？没有标准答案的，不过如果是我单独一个人的话，会选择比较窝囊的办法：砸鸡蛋，我就走开，不理；听不懂的英语骂人，我碰到就走开，无视不理；中学生拦路要钱，得看情况了，首先得表露出一副听不大懂他们说什么的神情，如果混不过去，那就得委婉的说身上没有并试图离开，如果最后逃不掉，那就破费点，给个一镑两镑的并表示自己没有多余的零钱了。如果是抢劫，给或者不给，你可以去试下。下面是比较有脸英雄的做法，曾经出现在留园网的笑口常开版面：拿着刚从超市买的锅对着这些青年小孩先恐吓，如果没有效果就下狠手。不过根据英国的保护未成年法律，估计结果是属于犯罪行为。交大笔的罚金和忍气吞声，随便你选了，我个人觉得都没错的。

第五件事情是发生在最近租住的小屋，好几个小孩一起敲门找赞助，说白了就是要钱。同屋的小姑娘下去开的门，费了半天搞明白了他们要什么。由于前段时间过节，已经给过一次钱了，所以这次决定不给钱了。小孩们见拉不到赞助就很气愤了，过了大概几十分钟，只听见啪啦的声音，当我们冲下楼去看得时候，只能发现大玻璃上的一个大洞。由于是冬天，风很大也很冷，那个洞没几分钟就导致了整个大玻璃破碎了。我们又报警了，最后应该找到了那个砸玻璃的小孩吧，但是估计也不会有处罚。反而可能还让小孩记仇了，有段时间会有小孩敲玻璃窗之类的事情。虽然大厅玻璃隔了几天就换好了，虽然整个事情是小孩们的不对，但这一切明显也是可以避免的。得出的结论，小孩是惹不得的，特别是大家住一个小区的时候。

第六件事情发生在我的同屋身上，她和她的同学去吃自助餐，受到了非常不平等的待遇，甚至被保安粗鲁的赶了出去，最后让人的心情变得很不好，感觉受到歧视了。事情的起因是因为换位，双方缺乏沟通并且可能都有慢慢来了火气，最后导致了不愉快。而且如果真的找警察来解决这个问题，结果甚至还是顾客一方理亏。这事情也证明了，在英国顾客也不会是上帝，说被赶走就可以被赶走。

最后一件事情自然是严重的歧视现象了。我的同学想在英国尝试住本地人的家里，感受真正的全英语环境的生活并且享受主人做的英式家庭餐。结果房租超级贵，不签初始合同，房租一涨再涨。最重要的是，我同学在搬出来取行李的时候，还被英国老头叫嚣着中国就是没有人权的国家，凭什么我要给你人权之类的话。最恶毒的不外乎是叫嚣说西藏人会把你们都杀死之类的。。。无语。这个可能是我所在的圈子里最让人不舒服的经历和遭遇了。虽然随后的几个月接受到了很多封来自主人的道歉信，我还是强烈支持我的同学，不要原谅那老头和老太。实在是很过分了。

不想再多说什么了，肯定会有人说我在英国没骨气之类的，我个人认为哈，只要没有触及到底线，能忍耐还是就忍耐过去吧。还是那句话，麻烦会升级成为矛盾；矛盾会升级为冲突；而冲突可能会导致安全的侵害，甚至死亡。如果可能的话，自然要在麻烦刚出现的时候就制止掉，哪怕委曲求全也是有必要的。

 

毕竟，身处异国他乡，无依无靠。为了不让家人担心，低调，已经成习惯了。保护自己，才是最重要的。

 

附录1：生活小常识
1、钱基本全部存进银行里，不要留在宿舍；  2、不要在晚上9点钟之后独自回家，要结伴同行或叫出租车；  3、随身带20镑左右的现金，不要总揣着银行卡； 4、如果住在自炊宿舍, 晚上记得插插销；  5、不要随身带利刃防身，除了折叠刀外，带任何刀具都是违法的；  6、遇到醉汉要避开；  7、遇到乞丐讨钱不要不理睬他们，如果不想给就说句“sorry, I have not got any change with me.”  8、夜间遇到骑自行车的或成群结队英国小孩（12－20岁）要避开，如果和他们有什么纠葛不必与他们发生身体接触，实在避让不了可以报警（如因已成年中国留学生动手伤人，可能会触犯英国当地的未成年人保护法）。
请大家注意安全，谨慎交友，不要露富，夜晚不要单独出门，请谨慎小心！

 

附录2：一封信
Our Claims
 Dear Daina,

We are two Chinese students of Durham University. We have to tell you something about our homestay host and hostess, Daniel and Marria, who live in 10 High Carr road of Durham. We think they have registered in language centre. But they refused to sign a contract with us, when we found their advertisement on the Internet. At that time, we desired to have a homestay accommodation to improve our English. So we accepted their terms & conditions which is from 20th Jan to started to pay rent￡70 weekly by cash per person but sharing one bedroom.

 

Soon after moving into their house six weeks, we were asked to pay them the rent up to ￡90 weekly because of gas fees go up. We talked and bargained with them and finally they raise the rent up to ￡75 weekly. However, rise of the rent doesn’t end up. This Friday on 11th April, the breakfast which they provided to us is mildewed and we have stomachaches all the day. What’s worse is that we were told they would like to raise up the rent again to ￡125 weekly after we came back in the evening. They said this amount was what language centre is going to pay to them and we could leave if we don’t accept this price. We thought we were treated totally unfairly and decided to leave after dinner. By the way, they are talking about they were running business, so the rise in rent is reasonable. I really doubted if British businessmen have to keep their words and be honest in their business activities. If not, I will accept what our host have done is not an act of cheating.

 

We told our homestay host Daniel our decision and requested to take our cases out of their garage for packing our luggage.  The time then was only 7:50 pm. In terms of the rent we have paid, we only have two days left to pack our stuff, move out and find new place. However Daniel refused our request. He said his back was not alright and he would not like to move his car in front of the garage. We understood him and tried to explain we can deal with it ourselves after we checked the gap between garage door and his car was not very tight. One of us is slim enough to open the garage without doing anything to the car. But then the host said that we were not allowed to argue with him any more, as well as not allow us to do anything with the luggage. It was not the first time he refused our appropriate request. So we told him we would like to leave that night. What Daniel said is “you could go out here and be back tomorrow to take your stuff.” Our dignities were infringed entirely. As a result, we went to

our friends’ place that night without taking our personal belongings. 

 

This is not the end of the story. The day after that night, when we came back to the homestay, its door was locked inside and we can not enter in to bring our personal stuff back. In fact we had told and sent messages already to our host that we were going back next morning. We don’t have any other ways to deal with this situation so we left a message to asked them allow us take personal stuffs away. Otherwise we will inform the police to deal with this problem. Fortunately, it makes sense. In that evening, the host told us we could go to their house at 11 am next day via txt.

 

Real racial discrimination happened when we went back there at 10:50 am next morning. A male friend of us who went to help us carry the luggage was stopped at the door even at their first meet he said “Good morning” with smile. While entering in their house, they asked their keys at once but we insisted to return the keys after packing our stuffs. From all the things happed, we can’t trust them any more. As a result of we talked about trust, they became very angry and said we had no right to refuse. We tried to argue with them. However they didn’t give us a chance to express our claims by their shout.

 

Was it ridiculous that this kind of British people blamed we were not nice Chinese people? Thus I asked Daniel if he should gave us rights to speak, he’s laughed and replied “There’s no human right in your country, why should I give you human right?” Also they speak loudly about Tibet Event and insult Chinese government and people by disrespectful words.  We became angry also, and reply it was none of their business. To be honestly they don’t know anything about real China but have been aggressive protestors. We felt it makes no sense keep talking to this kind of people. And disgustedly, a person, who is talking about human right, peace, democracy and love of God, acted and talked in a total opposite way. What a hypocritical host we truly experienced!

 

We don’t tend to take apart for the all, because some other British people we came across are very nice. This letter aims to give our recommendation to Durham Language Center and Durham Students Unions (DSU) that this homestay host is not eligible and suitable to serve international students at all and will bring shame on Britain. Moreover, we should advice every tenant that agreement or contract is very essential. If your landlord or host doesn’t want to sign it with you, it is very possible same thing happens to you also.